John Shuttleworth: If Nick Clegg was called Nicholas

Lovely to hear John Shuttleworth on the Vote Now Show late on Radio 4 last night. The track’s here if you missed it – his wonderfully crafted lyrics are a great take on the three horse race that’s unfolding before us…. I think he has a point. If Nick Clegg was called Nicholas, he would inevitably get less votes.

Here’s the track for those of you who missed it:

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(updated: download link here by popular demand of the flash-starved iPhonites)

Lyrics:

If Nick Clegg was called Nicholas
Voters would think him ridiculous
But as he’s just plain “Nick Clegg”
People assume he’s a right good egg

If only Gordon and David
Would shorten their names as he did
Think of the votes they’d get
from an admiring electorate

Wouldn’t you put a tenner on
Somebody called Dave Cameron?
He sounds a like a friendly bricklayer
Or even a professional darts player
(“Dave, you require double-five”
- Well – he wants number 10)

If only Gordon was Don Brown
His ratings would never have gone down
A Don you would never close a door on
Whereas Gordon is a moron
(he’s gone a bit quiet hasn’t he – the lad who did that one)

By the way, I wonder if you knew
That Nick Clegg’s a former member of Kajagoogoo
Oh no – that’s not Nick Cleggs that was Nick Beggs
Apologies I’ve made a slight boo boo

If Nick Clegg’s was called Nicholas
Voters would think him ridiculous
But as he’s just plain “Nick”
He’s as solid as a brick
He’s the one the others must lick
Shame his middle name is Benedict
(no I’m only joking… )
Oh – and a lovely reference in the lyrics to ‘Gordon is a Moron’ re: the 1978 hit by Jilted John (Graham Fellows – or John Shuttleworth in a former punk skit role) – flashback below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN45OjB-cCU&a=HFG0rmI3EPY&playnext_from=ML

Merchandise: For the Masses

“Five years in the making” makes any album sound epic, doesn’t it.  Merchandise are a friend-of-a-friend band that have become just a friend band now.  Brad asked me to build the Cityscape Records website some time back, then I shortly after rebuilt the Merchandise website.  Along the way I got to listen to their music and things grew and grew.  I do enjoy their poppyness lots…

I’m lucky enough to be – in some sort of VIP way- in receipt of a pre-release of the album ‘For the Masses’ that will be coming out in June, and thought I’d tell you all that it is well worth the wait.

Putting two fairly anthem-like tunes up fron in positions 1 and 2 (‘Listen Up’ and ‘Sometimes’) is a smart move. You start buzzing straight away. Still getting used to some of the new tracks but all satisfy in their own way. ‘Prescription’ and ‘Enemy’ are certainly not the happy-go-lucky type of track that the beautiful ’sometimes’ proves to be listen after listen.

Great work Brad and Con – everyone buy this in June and help Bolton’s best kept secret become Bolton’s best known band.

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Jenny: 18 = me: old

The little baby that my sister in law Fiona and her husband Graeme had in 1991 – not very much further back than yesterday, it feels, is 18. Like millions of others before me, the coming of age of a close relative has really brought home to me how quickly time flies and how there is bugger all we can do about it. I think the traditional solution is to ‘party’ – if that’s acceptable as a verb [I did use an inverted comma]. (more…)

Tune… The Difference between an object and a non-object

Short bit of music – the first for a while – inspired in part by the dark weather we’re living under this August and in part by the sporadic and fickle nature of the people I follow on Twitter. Also was playing a lot of guitar this week and wanted to have a break from that.

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Billie Jeanellium

In memory of Micheal Jackson, I started to mess about with music again the other night, and came up with this fairly stripped down version of Billie Jean… basically nicked the drums and vocals, the rest was re-done from other instruments… it’s a top tune, and there’s not much to be gained by remixing it or messing around too much, unless you’re as god-like as Bushwacka or indeed Ian Brown.

Anyways… have a listen…

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PS – my parents in law are called Bill & Jean.  Amazing.  It could have been about them.